A Hatter's Love
by Lounette97
Summary: Alice has long since left Wonderland but not the Hatter's thoughts. The Hatter has made an awful realization, he may be in love with Alice. He seeks out the White Queen for a cure but she has her own plan. Rated: M for later chapters. I would love reviews this is my first FanFiction to ever be posted online!
1. Chapter 1

A Hatter's Love

Stunning green eyes, vibrant orange hair, rather charming (although crooked) smile. As the Hatter stared back at the reflection he'd seen so many times before he saw something new.

Longing.

Loneliness.

And the most dangerous 'L' word he'd ever been matched up with.

Love.

"That damn Alice", the Hatter said out loud but even though he spoke with such malice he couldn't deny how amazing her name sounded in his thick accent. What was coming over him? He's mad of course but this was worse. Over the last few months since Alice's departure from his world he'd seen the signs of love. His workshop usually full of hats was now stuffed with dresses in her size, his dreams were filled with her face, his ears heard her sweet voice everywhere she wasn't. No one would believe him but the Mad Hatter has gone mad…madder? This had to stop this infatuation was beginning to cause problems in not only his health and what was left of his sanity but yesterday…he'd missed _tea time_. Who would ever think? Tea time in Wonderland without the Hatter. Why he was at his wits end.

A rabbit. Not just any rabbit but a white one. Not just any white rabbit but _The White Rabbit. _As he was sitting under the Hatter's window he heard a name that he barely remembered. Alice. Wasn't that the Hatter's distant cousin come and gone years before? Maybe he was just madder than the rabbit wanted to admit. This was a daily routine for him now sitting here not speaking, not daring to move as to let the Hatter now he was spying. He felt bad for this but he was worried sick that something was terribly wrong with his old friend, see he hadn't been himself these past few months. He and the Cheshire cat took turns on watching him looking for clues into that poor man's head. Alice. The name of a flower? No that couldn't be it Hatter was allergic. The sun was dimming and soon it would be night and the cat's turn to keep an eye on their friend. The rabbit could see his wicked smile in the tree across from him. With a tip of the hat and a check of the watch the rabbit was off to his home the whole time muttering, "Alice….A sister? No. No. Alice…oh dear it's getting late. Late. Late."

That rabbit and that watch of his…he always has somewhere to be doesn't he. The cat compared this to his own life, never needing to be anywhere but being everywhere all the time. The poor Hatter was lost any one could see that and the cat missed his crazy old friend. Mad. The queen told us to refrain from using the 'C' word with the Hatter but we all knew it to be true. No one quite knows the history of the poor Mad Hatter or how he became so mad. It's rumored he was tortured into madness by the Queen of Hearts but the Hatter was mad long before her reign. The Cheshire cat was convinced it had to do with the old torn up top hat that seemed to be the his signature. If one walked in on the Hatter without being announced it was possible to catch him spinning the damn hat over and over on the floor. No one could ever build up the courage to ask him about it, rumors. That was all anyone talked about with the Hatter was rumors, speculation, educated guessing. "Alicccceee…..", the cat hissed. Who was this Alice? Perhaps an image of a woman conjured up by the poor Hatter's loneliness. Cheshire started to drift to sleep and he wasn't the only one.

Sleep, what used to be an escape from the real world for the Hatter now only an empty playing field soon to be full of Alice's dear face. He could remember it like she was standing in front of him. Her piercing blue eyes so full of wonder they look as if they'll shatter. Eyes that see down into one's soul and are never disappointed by what they find. Eyes that were placed rather shallowly into skin similar to pure porcelain. So soft and delicate as if one touch could ruin the entire picture. While the skin seemed delicate the jaw was not. The squareness of her jaw gave her the ability to be fearsome while still so beautiful. Her hair oh sweet flowers her hair smelt of them. It flowed down her back in rippling curls that bounced as she walked, as she skipped, as she cut off heads of horrible beasts. The strands would fall on her face and he remembers how hard he had to repress the urge to move them for her. She had a quaint little nose that turned a bit upward. Usually this worked as a disadvantage for people making them seem pig-like or snobbish but upon her face it was mere perfection. Her final feature he spent hours staring at and yet they seem to be the hardest to recall…her lips. Lips he long to brush against with his, lips that smiled so temptingly at him under her perfect nose. Why couldn't he remember her lips? They danced about him in his dreams but were lost to him as he woke. This alone ruin his perfect image of her, one that seemed so amazing so peaceful so elegant was tarnished by his inability to remember those tantalizing lips. What was a Hatter in love to do?

The next morning as the sun rose the Hatter dressed himself and left on a journey. A journey to the White Queen's castle, he wasn't sure what he'd find there but he knew it'd be better than the torture he felt in his own home. He strolled through the tall flowers as they sang a happy tune that somehow only made him feel worse. She saw Alice's face in the beautiful flowers and he could remember her singing the same tune as he heard it now. The road to the White Queens castle was long but an easy walk through the woods but under the midday sun it seemed to drag on. About a quarter into his journey he heard the soft thump of feet behind him and new his friend the rabbit was with him. They exchanged the usual "how was your day? Good you?" They walked in silence for a few minutes until the rabbit decided he had had enough.

"What is wrong with you Hatter? You haven't been yourself and I'm worried" The rabbit spilled all his thoughts quickly and jumbled up.

Calmly the Hatter began to explain himself, "Rabbit do you remember a girl of the name Alice?"

"I can't say that I do my friend…I'm sorry"

"Well I can't blame you because you can't even remember the last time you checked that watch.", the Hatter felt bad for this rude remark. Everyone in wonderland has a bad memory except for himself and the White Queen. In reality (an oxymoron in this place) though there is one more person with a decent memory the used-to-be Queen of Hearts. No one saw much of her anymore though. "Well," the Hatter continued, "she was a girl who was once a part of wonderland many moons ago and I'm afraid I have caught something from her."

"Like a sickness Hatter? Well dammit why wouldn't you tell someone sooner?! Your health is in danger quite possibly your life! Where has your head gone?! Dammit Tarrant what were you thinking!?"

The Hatter turned on his heels to face the white rabbit and in a low snarl said, "Don't you ever call me that again. You may refer to me as Hatter and that is it."

The rabbit was quite done being spoken to such a manner and hopped off muttering to himself.

The Hatter silently seethed. Tarrant. That damn rabbit knew better than to use that forsaken name. No one had used it in quite a long time. Used to be that only one person knew about the name, his ex-muse. The one he thought at one point in time he loved, it ended badly and nearly cost his life. This is why he wasn't taking any chances with this Alice business. Even now as he thought of this old lover he cringed and rubbed the back of his neck in painful memory.

Before long the Hatter looked upon the white queen's immense castle. The castle was like any other with the tall towers and spires but this one was special. It was made of a marble so pure that if looked at in the right angle you could see yourself and your background reflected perfectly. As he approached the front door of the palace they opened welcoming him in. The hatter tried to play out his happy and care-free attitude, smiling at everyone and walking gaily. He stopped when he came to the sunroom, where the queen usually stayed, only to find it empty. He waited a few minutes looking around the room at all the knick-knacks here and there.

"Well, hello there Hatter. What do I owe the pleasure?" The white queen's sweet melodic voice reached the Hatter's ears. She had sneaked in behind him without a sound.

"Why, your majesty can a man not just visit his most beloved queen? Must I always need something from you?" the Hatter replied smoothly.

"Of course not. You know I'm always delighted with your visits but usually we have a common goal we are working towards. Besides, from what I've heard though some of your dearest friends is that you aren't yourself these days. Feeling sick Hatter?"

"Extremely, dear. It has to do with Alice-"

"Oh yes! Alice such a charming young woman. I do miss her terribly but I don't see how she has any effect on your health."

"Well, it has to do more with my feelings towards her. The last time I felt this way about a woman I nearly lost my head quite literally."

"Love? This is what sickness you've come here asking about. What would you like me to do Hatter?"

"I want to be rid of this feeling. I don't need love in my life or in my work. So anything I need to eat or drink or otherwise use tell me and I shall."

"A cure for love? Or a cure for heartache?"

"Isn't it all the same my queen?"

Chuckling softly the queen replied, "Oh, my dear Hatter so wise yet so naïve. Are the feelings of love what make you ache or is it the knowledge you may never see Alice again?"

"If I didn't love her I wouldn't want to see her again so we can kill two birds with one stone."

"Alright Hatter, I know what you need but first I need to know that you trust your queen. Trust that what I will do is only going to help you in the future. Do I have that trust from you?"

"Until the worlds end." The Hatter bowed low enough that had his hat not been enchanted it would have fallen clean off.

"Sweet Hatter, drink this." She hands over a small bottle with a light inside. That's the only way the Hatter could describe what he saw. It wasn't a liquid so he wasn't quite sure how to drink it. It wasn't a solid so he couldn't chew it. But, he trusted his queen and took the bottle anyway. He uncorked the bottle and lifted it to his lips. He felt warm inside and also quite unsteady on his feet. He felt himself being hoisted into a chair but couldn't mumble out a thank you. Then sleep over took him.

When the Hatter finally awoke from his deep slumber he was surrounded by people. There were guards, lords, ladies, the queen seem to be missing however. As soon as he sat up all eyes turned to him. Well, did the queen forget that he was awaiting her? As he asked himself this question the queen walked in. The Hatter wasn't looking at the queen though, but looking at her guest. This is impossible. It can't be. Why in the hell would the queen do this to him?! All of his emotions took turns wreaking havoc on his body and mind. The pair were approaching him quickly. What was he going to say? What was he going to do?

"Hatter you are awake how fantastic!"

"Fantastic is not the word I would use considering I feel like I have awoken into a nightmare." The Hatter made sure that his disdain was not misread.

"A nightmare?! Why Hatter I thought you trusted your queen." With a rather hurt smile the queen turned to her guest. "Any who, Hatter you do remember our guest of honor?"

"I can't say she rings even the slightest of bells" The Hatter was lying and the queen knew it. He stole a glance at the young woman.

"Why Hatter shame one you." The queen was irritated that her gift wasn't being accepted with open arms as she had hoped.

The Hatter turned to their guest and introduced himself, "You may call me Hatter and your name dear?"

The young woman curtsied and replied with, "Alice, my name is Alice."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter TWO

"May I speak to the Queen in private Alice?" The Hatter had difficulty keeping his voice even.

"Oh, why of course." She smiled brightly.

The Hatter could feel himself becoming weak in the knees, what was this woman doing to him? The Queen took him to a secluded room and shut the door behind them. The Hatter turned to face her, knowing exactly what he was going to say and how he was to say it. He was going to let her know just how angry he was with her and just let it all out.

"Your majesty, I…" The passion was gone and he collapsed into a chair.

"I know this was not what you were expecting but you said you trusted me and this is what is best for you. Why are you acting so harshly to her."

"Pardon my French dear but, where in the hell did you get the damn idea that bringing her back here was a good idea?! That was not what I asked for! I asked for a cure so I wouldn't have to deal with this."

"So you could ignore your feelings?! Not in my kingdom sir. You will thank me for this later."

"Thank you!? For making things worse? I didn't want her in my life I wanted to forget about her and all the trouble she brought me. Might I remind you that I nearly lost my head trying to protect her the last time she was here? I wanted things to easier and that did not mean bringing her here."

"You'll thank me one day." With that she turned and left.

The Hatter wasn't sure what to do with himself he walked across the room to a mirror.

Stunning green eyes, vibrant orange hair, rather charming (although crooked) smile. The Hatter saw another dangerous trait.

Doubt.

Should he tell Alice of his feelings? Keep them hidden? What would he say how would he say it? All the questions ran through his mind and he didn't know which to answer first. He found himself unconsciously fixing his hair and straightening his bowtie. Why was he doing this? He didn't care, he shouldn't care. Love. Hate. Doubt. Worst case scenarios played in his head like a bad film he couldn't get his money back for. Would she leave again? Would she hate him? Would she laugh at him? The scariest scene his mind could conjure up was one where she returned his love. What would happen then? With a tight ball in his stomach he left or tried to leave his fears behind and rejoined the party happening about him.

Muttering under his breath he tried to work up some self-confidence, "Just walk straight up to her and tell her. No just ignore it. Be kind. I should leave. No I should stay."

He looked around for his dear Alice and couldn't find her anywhere. This was sign he should go home. Go home and become a hermit. No. Go home and be himself. Go home and be The Mad Hatter. He couldn't do this with Alice always about and being in his business and his work. His work! She has already ruined that for him he has not made a hat in months. A hatter who doesn't make hats. It was decided. Alice was never going to be a part of his future here in wonderland. She was not his problem. After making this quite clear to himself he turned for the door and was stopped dead in his tracks. Alice. She was standing by the door talking to a royal guardsmen. Alice. So beautiful, so elegant, so…so…so not his problem. He forced himself to stop thinking of her in such a manner and marched right up to the door to leave. He was pulled back with a gentle tug.

"Sir, I didn't get your name." Alice, said sweetly.

"Don't play a fool my dear, you know who I am." What was she thinking that he was that easily confused? He looked long and hard at her and saw that his words hurt her. They hurt her. Why would they do that? Why would he do that? His thoughts sprinted through his mind faster than a cheetah after its prey. When they all made it to the finish line the Hatter picked up the pieces. The realization made him weak. All of the worst case scenarios his mad mind had come up with had not prepared him for this.

"Tarrant. My name is Tarrant." The Hatter said as he walked into the night still in a haze.

Alice. His dear, sweet, beautiful Alice. Could it be true? Not even his darkest imagination could have create this horrid reality. Alice, his Alice, doesn't even remember him. Did the White Queen know? If she did why would she do this?

He left the party and just started walking in whichever direction his feet led him. It was dark outside and he knew this decision was dangerous but who cared? He didn't. His feet trudged on and he slowed his mind down to the point nothing was happening. He might as well have been dead. But his feet still moved. The moon was at its highest point pouring dim light onto the world below. Was this the same moon Alice saw in her home? Did she have a moon? Was _she_ the moon? How old was Alice? In his world she was quite young. Maybe 23. 24? Basically still a child. And he. Why he was not that much older than she was. He was nearing his 28th birthday. Why in fact today was his _un_birthday basically any day that wasn't his actual birthday. Was it Alice's unbirthday as well? Did they have this in common? Would she even remember when her unbirthday was?!

That damn White Queen how could she do this to him? He had trusted her.

His mind started to drift to Alice's mesmerizing smile. She had come up to him. She had initiated the encounter. What did that mean? Why did she care what his name was?

Why did he give her THAT name? What was he thinking? That awful name. The name that only brings back bad memories of past lovers who only brought pain. What did he ever see in her? Besides her big head. That glorious head of hers. Oh the hats he made! Hundreds. Thousands. Giant hats that only she could wear. Bright colors and outrageous materials. He still obsessed over her head because while the face painted on it wasn't grand the head itself was marvelous. His feet had finally stopped. It was midday. Where had the time gone? Time. He laughed at his naïve concept of time in Wonderland. He took this moment to see where he had ended up in his night long journey only to find he was back where he had started.

The White Queen's Castle.


End file.
